Domestic abuse must not be tolerated

Joanne Lockwood is joined by Andrew Pain to discuss why domestic abuse must not be tolerated, drawing on Andrew’s experience as a long-term victim in a former marriage and his subsequent campaigning work.

They explore how domestic abuse can affect people of all genders and can include more than physical violence, including coercive control, economic abuse and gaslighting. Andrew explains gaslighting and shares an example of how it can make someone doubt their own judgement, and they discuss how fear, stigma and under-reporting can prevent men from speaking out.

The conversation also covers recognising escalation, the importance of boundaries, and practical language like “stop” and “enough” as early boundary-setting tools for children and adults. They reflect on the challenges of polarised public narratives and the need for respectful, centrist dialogue so that all victims can access support and society can move toward greater equality.