Dance With Difference

Joanne Lockwood is joined by Dr Khutso Madubanya for a wide-ranging conversation about difference, identity, and what it takes to reclaim self-worth when the world keeps trying to define you.

Khutso reflects on growing up in apartheid-era South Africa, the power and meaning of her name, and how patriarchal expectations around women, marriage, and motherhood shaped a fierce drive for independence. She shares how labels like marital status and assumptions about single mothers can become a constant form of social boxing-in, and how credentials and titles can feel like a shield even when they don’t address the deeper question of innate worth.

The discussion moves into the personal cost of hyper-independence, including fear of asking for help, perfectionism, and the burnout that can follow from proving yourself through performance. Khutso explains how a period of upheaval—relocation, job loss, legal stress, single parenting, and career change—pushed her to build a practical mindset framework she now teaches: PIVOT (Pause, Introspect, Vector, Overcome fear of mistakes, Travel forward). Together, they explore how letting go of identities that no longer serve you can create freedom, resilience, and momentum through change.