Self-Forgiveness Is Tough

Lis Cashin joins Joanne Lockwood to explore why self-forgiveness can feel impossible when shame and guilt have taken hold for years. Lis shares the defining event of her childhood: at 13, during a school sports day javelin event, a tragic accident led to the death of a friend. With no trauma support at the time, Lis internalised blame, developed an identity-level shame, and spent decades punishing herself in ways that affected her relationships, health, and sense of worth.

The conversation follows Lis’s journey to finally getting the right help, including being diagnosed with PTSD years later after recognising herself in trauma narratives and seeking an assessment. Together they discuss what trauma can look like over time, why simply “changing mindset” may not be enough when the nervous system is involved, and how compassion, validation, and being listened to can be pivotal.

They also turn to what workplaces and leaders can do: create safer spaces for honest conversations, listen without judgement, avoid rushing to fix, and understand how power dynamics can make speaking up hard. The episode closes with practical signposting for getting support, and a clear message that struggling is human—and that recovery and self-compassion are possible.